A-Knee-Noodles+Wraps

 Welcome to ASlingSwing.com and TheFuckingA.com websites operated by SAM.LLC.

Designed To Hold Your Body In The Best FUCKING Position!

Agreement

We offer adult novelties for discerning men and women with a whole new way to pleasure your partner. This site has no porn on it and is designed to inform you of the products SAM.LLC sells ASlingSwing (ASS) and is not adult entertainment, our purpose of this site is to inform you of the items we manufacture and sell. There is no nudity, butt there is language that might offend. If you are easily offended by adult content, or you are looking at this site in a country where this material is not legal and prohibited, leave now as you do not have our permission to view our products do not continue and click here www.disney.com

The terms of this agreement are designed to avoid any misunderstandings.

This website is offered to you upon the condition on your acceptance as is without modifications of these terms, warnings, information, agreements and conditions, written within our agreement between us. Your logging on to this website constitutes your agreement to our terms in full.

You are only permitted to view this site if you attest that you are of legal age in your area and you will comply with your local laws, to buy items, enter the website, join our newsletter and you have the legal capacity to accept these terms and conditions. Enter at your own risk.

Read all the terms carefully and understand them before ordering from our site as they are legally binding, making a purchase IS your expressed acceptance of these terms and will apply as a contract between us for your purchases. Please print the terms out for future reference. You will be asked to agree to these terms in full, before placing an order, not agreeing to these terms, you will not be able to purchase. Do Not Log Into The Site, if you do disagree to these terms or think they are unreasonable .

This website contains products that can be used for potential health therapy and adult play uses, The ASS has more uses than sex. We are making no claims for medical purpose since we are not doctors.

To the best of our knowledge all the information on the site is up-to-date, true, accurate and not misleading. This site is not for advice of any kind. This website, prices and terms will be updated periodically without notice as needed and will affect orders after that update. So read these terms each time you order.

Each of these paragraphs of our terms operates separately. If a court or relevant authority decides that any paragraph is unlawful or unenforceable in your area, The rest of the paragraphs will remain in full force and in effect. SAM.LLC has the right to enforce these terms at anytime.

You may view this web site for your own use, decisions in purchasing.

You may use images with our watermark on social media. Please provide a copy to...  Sam@ASlingSwing.com of your posts, and thank you for that!

You agree not to copy our content, designs, our intellectual property to reproduce, duplicate, copy, sell, edit or resell. You cannot represent our products, make derivative works of our products. or copy our website.

These terms along with the information on the website gives you a complete understanding about SAM.LLC and the legal agreement and conditions in which we sell the products listed on our site to you. All products on the site are only meant as novelty items and to be used and such.

SAM.LLC owns all the intellectual property rights to the website and the materials on the site. The product name and the product are copyrighted and are reserved. Products cannot be reproduced and remain our property,

If you do not understand any of the terms, Please send us an email so we can clear up your question! to Sam@ASlingSwing.com

Orders

Your order is accepted when we send your confirmation and ship date, including your tracking number.

It is your responsibility to make sure all information is correct on your order, to get the products to you, including your email and phone number so we can contact you if necessary.

We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone for any reason at any time and any quantity.

Wholesale orders are done by email after distributorship is set up.

Out of stock, and custom items will take longer to ship. Ship dates may be longer around holidays due to demand and/or production and shipping volumes by carrier. If we get back-ordered we will notify you of your shipping date to make sure it still works for you. If you decide a later ship date will be too late we will refund you the total amount you paid including taxes and shipping, if you wish to cancel.

For domestic purchases, shopify calculates the taxes and shipping for orders within the United States and includes that cost in your order.

For international purchases, Shopify may not include charges customers are responsible for such as, importation taxes, custom duties, fees, tariffs, sales taxes, import taxes and regulations for your country and including customs requirements. These fees are owed to your government by you. Understand these requirements before ordering, so you will know what to expect as your products arrive. Also, adult toys are not allowed in some parts of the world. Make sure it is legal! If you question it, refer to your country's website.

We will not be liable for acts of God and failure to fulfill your purchase, i.e., beyond our control. Before your order ships, you will be refunded by SAM.LLC. After shipping, the carrier will be responsible to compensate you. (Your products will be insured).

Data and Privacy

SAM.LLC keeps limited data on you. When you join our mailing list or register on our site, that information is used to market to you by SAM.LLC only. When you buy our products, that information is used to ship you our products and our mailing list only! SAM.LLC staff only sees your packing slip and shipping label, to get the products to you and of course, the carrier and it’s employees. Electronic list you will be on is only used by the owner and that info is kept by SAM.LLC, information such as products bought, date, name, address, phone, email and comments, are archived, no cookies, no nothing. SAM.LLC will not share, rent or sell that information with anyone unless used to collect a debt. SAM.LLC uses safeguards to keep your information from misuse and unwanted access.

Secure Sockets Layer “SSL” is used to protect you on the site with encrypted electronic messages so only we can read.

If you leave a comment or review, know that your information is not secure.

SAM.LLC has no control of third party websites we use to operate this site. What information they collect, the content, and their policies and privacy practices is under their control. We are not responsible or liable for websites we do not own.

SHOPIFY INFORMATION, WE DO NOT COLLECT CREDIT CARD INFO, COOKIES AND OTHER INFO ON YOU that is not stated above. SAM.LLC website is hosted on the Shopify Inc. platform. the e-commerce offered by them, allows SAM.LLC to sell our products to you. Refer to Shopify website for their polices. Click here to read shopify web policies your data is stored by Shopify on their data storage on a secure server using Shopify’s security and firewalls. Payments go through Shopify as well and your information and credit card info is only kept as long as needed to complete your purchase by Shopify.

Using this website you agree to SAM.LLC data collection and privacy policies as well as the third party websites. SAM.LLC does not collect cookies.

Payments

Payments are handled by the secure Shopify website, not us. We never get your credit card information on orders. You pay Shopify and Shopify pays us.

Wholesale orders are paid directly thru Zelle to SAM.LLC.

All monies are in U.S. Dollars USD/US$. We cannot split payment methods.

Paypal is NOT accepted!

Laws

These products are manufactured in Florida, the United States, where they are legally sold and used. Local laws governing your region may restrict the purchase and use of the items sold on this site. It is your responsibility to determine the legality of your purchase of these products.

SAM.LLC only controls the products in our factory and liability ends at our door. Watching videos and looking at photos on any website, showing our ASS in sexually explicit acts, is at your discretion (the viewer).  SAM.LLC assumes no liability for the manner the products are utilized by purchaser.

Breach of these terms and conditions in any way will be dealt with as SAM.LLC deems appropriate. This is including bringing court proceedings against the user or purchaser of the products.

Manufacturing and sales of our products are governed by laws that which are in accordance with Orange County, Florida. Conflicts must be filed in that county within a year of the situation. Failure by SAMM.LLC to enforce this agreement does not mean waiving these rights.

Anyone who files a “fraud” complaint with their bank after your item(s) is shown as delivered, a case will be opened with the clerk of courts of Orange County, Florida.

Do not allow people to use your account, you are responsible for orders placed by you or someone we think is you, keep your password private.
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The purchaser agree to indemnify, and hold harmless SAM.LLC, it’s officials, officers, directors, employees and third parties, for any losses, including personal injury and property damages, costs, liabilities and consequential losses. Purchasers and third parties including web sites and retail business indemnify, hold harmless of expenses including attorneys fees without limitation and any amount of losses paid by SAM.LLC to a third party in a settlement of a claim or dispute on the advice of SAM.LLC ‘s legal advisers incurred or suffered by SAM.LLC arising out of any breach by you of any provision of theses terms, agreement or conditions.

All products are sold as novelties. Purchasers may utilize these products as you see fit and at your own risk!

If you choose to use our products or any other products to suspend the human body we recommend consulting with a local expert or contractor to install the A-Hang-It-Kit. Make sure you are in a supporting beam on the ceiling or you can tie it or chain it to a secure spot.

Do not use the “A” on the floor, it must be hung.

As you get in or out of the “A” use the instructions on ASlingSwing.com and always hold the outer “A” for balance and support.

The purchaser stipulates they have read the proper use of this product on this site, watched the video and will read the owners manual along with the others using your ASS.

YOU MAINTAIN THE RIGHT TO USE THESE PRODUCTS AS YOU WISH AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Newsletter

Sign up for our newsletter and bookmark this page so you can keep up on new products and promotions.

Products and Price

Our website catalog descriptions of our products may change in features, new models and colors with time.

These products may be used in video production. You must credit our website if you do so.

Click here and use this watermark.

We try to keep our prices low and up to date. If we change a price after you order it, you still get the original price. Future purchases will be at the updated pricing.

Shipping

SAM.LLC works hard to keep products in stock for fast delivery and great service. To keep costs low you pay what we pay for shipping, with out extra handling fees or markups. Shopify has given us the best in shipping prices. The price of our product is not marked up to cover shipping.

We ship to the address entered into the order by you.

The product is shipped in a discreet brown oversized box: 3" x 30" x 44” and weighs 30 pounds.

Ordering multiple “A” cannot be combined unless ordering a pallet of 30, then sent by truck. We will help you with these orders.

Upon delivery inspect your order to make sure it is what you ordered is correct and we are on the same page, if not, call or text 407-415-1963

We encourage upon receiving your product, you inspect the box for damage. If the box is damaged, take a photograph of it before opening. The ASS is one strong product and hard to be damaged! Check it out, make sure you got all the extra items that you ordered. Remember the ASS is fully assembled and there are no parts to it, the A-Hang-It-Kit is an add on product. If the product is somehow damaged, take photos of the visible damage and send the photos to us within 48 hours of delivery so we can help you start the claim with the carrier.

Shipments are from Orlando Florida. Shipment times are gauged from there. Packages leave SAM.LLC insured by us with the carrier. We cannot be liable for what we do not do. Lost or damage packages will be covered by carriers insurance. The risk of loss and title to the product purchased from us, is passed to the purchaser as it is in the hands of the carrier, FOB SAM.LLC, freight prepaid. Seller. SAM.LLC is not to be held responsible for abandonment or theft of packages. SAM.LLC will also watch your tracking number as your package is in the carriers possession. If your package shows delivered but you do not have it, contact the carrier. If your product package comes back here we will call you that day.

Carrier delays are the responsibility of the carrier. Watch your tracking number for location of product box. International shipment will take longer and cost more due to your country’s customs and international carrier time. Custom's forms will describe the ASS as exercise equipment.

If you wish to pick up your item in Orlando, text 407-415-1963

Bulk orders may need advanced notice.

We typically ship three days a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

We cannot ship to post office boxes.

You will get an email with your tracking number as your order is printed for processing.

Orders returned to us as undeliverable or refused will incur a 25% restocking fee and shipping will not be refunded.

Shipping fees may be refunded when cancelled before ASS is shipped.

Return, Refund or Cancel

Before we ship our products it will go through the last quality check manually, photographed and matched with your purchase order. SAM.LLC products are checked and tested for quality with each step of the manufacturing process to meet our specifications and make sure your ASS is in perfect condition. It is our intention to make the highest quality and a strong product for our customers, we want you happy! and known for selling the best. Due to the sexual nature of our products we sell, we can only take returns on manufacturing defects with our ASS.

A defective product from us is highly unlikely, but should that happen, we will  happily replace products with manufacturer's defects. Please understand that this is normal practice within the sex toy industry. Returns are limited to replacement, once the defective one is returned and unused (due to hygiene reasons). Contact us immediately (before using) if you found an issue and want to return it, due to the manufacturer's defect.

Returns; to start the process, photograph our product showing the defect and the serial #. To process your concern we will match it with our photographs of your ASS, to make your claim go smooth and rapid. Email us your name, and serial # with an explanation of the defect, photos or video to Sam@ASlingSwing.com.  We will respond to you within 2 business days with a solution. If the problem was caused by us or a factory defect, we will fix it. You will need a return authorization number for returns, from us by email.

Products need to meet these conditions:

* Return authorization. 

* Sent back within 5 business days

* The ASS must be unused 

* Not damaged or abused by customer

* In the original packaging

You will be responsible for shipping costs to us for returning the ASS. If a defect is deemed our fault, we will refund you up to $75 USD for shipping. Before shipping back to us, photograph both sides of the box. Insurance for shipping is required with tracking number to make sure we get it and its not damaged. If not insured, you are responsible for any breach of this statutory right, since we cannot guarantee that the carrier will not lose your package and we cannot be responsible for carrier losing this package. Notify us within 5 days of shipping your return, via email, the tracking number. 

Call for returns address:

If box is damaged photograph the box before you open the box, with long distance transportation, boxes may be damaged or unpacked, however the product may still be fine since it is very strong. the carrier is responsible for getting it to you in one piece and in good condition, we will help with the insurance claim to the carrier, we have photos of the box before it left us.

Refunds and Cancellation SAM.LLC will refund payment once cleared by Shopify. To cancel an order it needs to happen before it ships. We try to ship the same day as ordered. If you need to cancel text us at 407-419-4143 We sell only new ASlingSwings, there for we do not do refunds, this is a sexual item and needs to be new for you and not a returned item.

Warranty is not offered on these products.

Communications

All texting, emails and calls will be for the sake of business and are non confidential. It will be for the purpose of shipping your products, exchanging  ideas, answering questions and responding to complaints, proposals, suggestions and comments.  All  discussions of what you did with your ASS will become the intellectual property of SAM.LLC to be used as we wish.

Having a written statement will help in getting thing done, please email us or text.  Sam@ASlingSwing.com  407-415-1963

Limit of Liability, Warnings and Disclaimers
No Warranties

SAM.LLC and our affiliates offer no warranties of any kind, weather expressed or implied, including without limitations, the merchantability, use of for a specific purpose.  Bought “as is”.

Warnings

Before using the ASS keep in mind this has been written by people who know the product and understand the potential for injury with mis-use... know what can go wrong, it is a swing and you need to hold it as you get in and out of it, it still is a swing hanging from one point. The other point is make sure you have it well suspended from what ever you hang it from. The product was tested at 500 pounds and had no weight issues, there is a video on the site showing this.

Educate others using the product! The purchaser needs to inform all users of the proper method of holding the ASS while getting in and out. Too much oil can have you slip out as well... everyone involved needs to read the owners manual to understand potential dangers to property and possible personal injury. No individuals should use these products with out understanding the safety guidelines with this type of product.

Limitation of Liabilities

Please note that you are responsible for your own actions!

THE USE OF ASlingSwing is at your own risk!

Use common sense! 

Use your ASS as you see fit!!

In no event will SAM.LLC be liable for any incidental, consequential, or indirect damages including, property damage, any personal injury, not limited to, damages for loss of profits, misuse of products, falling due to improper installation, not holding product as getting in or out, acts of God, things beyond SAM.LLC’s control and including theft. SAM.LLC's liability is limited to the greatest extent permitted by law. 

SAM.LLC claims nothing be to expressed or implied as to the safety of our products. These products are sold as novelties only. We accept No responsibility for injuries sustained while using the products. The purchaser and users assumes full risk and liability of the use of these products.

All people using the products found on this site must take time to look at the safety videos on the web site and read the owners manual. The purchaser and users are responsible for the proper use of the product and are fully responsible for all risks of personal injury and property damages.

Indemnification

You are buying products off this site for novelty purposes only. No individuals involved in the design, production, sales, distribution, retail stores, other web sites, agrees to indemnify, defend and hold harmless any of the SAM.LLC, its affiliates, officers, directors, employees, agents, licensors, vendors and any third party information providers from and against all losses, expenses, liabilities, damages and costs, including attorneys' fees without limitation, resulting from any violation of this Agreement including negligent or wrongful conduct by you or any other person, accessing the website or using our products.

The Legal Notices are for the benefit of SAM.LLC and its officers, directors, employees, agents, licensors, suppliers, and any third-party information providers to the Website. Each of these individuals or entities shall have the right to assert and enforce those provisions directly against you on its own behalf.

This Privacy Policy and the terms and conditions contained herein shall all be governed and construed in accordance with the laws of Florida and The United States of America applicable to agreements made and to be performed in Florida and The United States of America. You agree that any legal action or proceeding between SAM.LLC and you for any purpose concerning this Privacy Policy shall be brought exclusively in a federal or state court of competent jurisdiction sitting in Florida. Any cause of action or claim you may have with respect to the Website must be commenced within one (1) year after the claim or cause of action arises or such claim or cause of action is barred. SAM.LLC's failure to insist upon or enforce strict performance of any provision of these terms and conditions in this Privacy Policy shall not be construed as a waiver of any provision or right. Neither the course of conduct between the parties nor trade practice shall act to modify any provision of this Privacy Policy. SAM.LLC may assign its rights and duties under this Privacy Policy to any party at any time without notice to you.
Any rights not expressly granted herein are reserved.

Contact

SAM.LLC

Sam@ASlingSwing.com 
407-415-1963 text with questions or updates

Feel free to send us ideas, photos, videos and stories of how you use your ASS, to be shared with others!

The terms above represent the entire agreement between SAM.LLC and the purchaser. These supersede all and any other preceding terms spoken or implied. Any waiver may only come from the owner of SAM.LLC in writing.

 If you do not agree to these terms, you must not buy these products, with your purchase you agree to all these terms.

TheFuckingA.com and ASlingSwing.com

Thank You for reading
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